Diminutive diaries- Pain

There are times when you want to cry your heart out, scream as loud as you can and vent it all. But you can’t. Neither a tear drops nor a whisper comes out of your mouth. The volcano inside you refuses to erupt. The heart is unwilling to let go of the pain that makes it so heavy. You become more than the sum of all your parts. Your grief conquers you and you are subdued. You cannot fight anymore. You want to get rid of the pain but it clings on to you.

This time, the war ended but peace left.


I want to recover

There are physical ailments and there are mental ailments. Physical ailments have their cures- doctors, better doctors, medicines, higher doses of medicines. But what about mental ailments? What about feeling low? What about feeling demotivated? What about feeling unloved or isolated? What about feeling the void inside you? What about the pain that cannot be shared with anybody? What about the longing for someone far away?

I want to get out of this. I want to breathe. Alas! I do not have a doctor. The only cure for these depressing feelings is love. Someone who is undergoing this ought to be treated a bit more carefully, a bit more adoringly. There must be someone for them who listens to them, who’ll make them talk, who’ll bring out the best in them. I enjoy writing but it has been a long time I’ve been able to blog or write. I can’t arrange my thoughts into anything meaningful. I can’t accept things as they are being bombarded onto me. I can’t accept solitude.

I can’t avoid, nor can I fight. There is a limit to tolerance and patience.  I feel low, I feel weird. Sometimes I cannot fathom what I feel at all. Often, I do nothing at all. Movies are distractions, but only temporary. They cannot make one forget the pain. There comes a point in life where philosophy does no good. The present seems lost, the past seems a mistake and the future seems only very intimidating. One loses the will to wake up every morning and fight. All I want is someone to constantly be there with me, which is not possible in a city where everyone is running towards an unknown destination.

I seek solace in God; I pray for peace. I don’t know if I’ve got better over the days, I’m trying.
These are the lowest and gloomiest days of my life and I don’t know where I’m going. I feel even the ones I have shall get fed up of me and abandon me.
I hope I am ushered out of this soon.



The Battle of Hogwarts

May 2nd, 2015 marked the 17th anniversary of the Battle of Hogwarts. It’s been seventeen years since peace and calm were restored in the wizarding world. Seventeen years since witches and wizards ceased to live with fear and began living life with dignity. Seventeen years since no Dark Lord has been luring innocent but gullible witches and wizards to do his bidding. Seventeen years since Hogwarts has been a peaceful school as it must be. Seventeen years since Harry’s scar hurt. Seventeen years since the most devastating sorcerer of the wizarding world, Voldemort, died; once and for ever.

However, war always accompanies terrible losses. It’s been seventeen years since George Weasley lost his twin Fred; seventeen years since Teddy Lupin was orphaned; seventeen years since Remus Lupin, Nymphadora Tonks, Severus Snape and so many others died fighting a losing battle. The war claimed lives and changed many lives so that they could never be same again. It was devastation worse than any other seen in the wizarding world for ages.

The war left behind many questions unanswered. For instance, what if years later someone discovered the tale of the Elder Wand and disarmed Harry Potter, its last owner? S/he could own the wand and the wizarding world could have another Dark Lord with the world’s most powerful wand. What would happen then- another Battle of Hogwarts? Nobody knows.


The war taught us many lessons. Voldemort’s death illustrates how evil meets an end, sooner or later. Harry Potter’s courage inspires us to fight, no matter how strong the enemy. Ron and Hermione exemplify the qualities of an ideal friend. Molly Weasley exhibits the powers of an infuriated woman. Neville Longbottom displays the bravery of someone undermined all his life. Gryffindor house portrays the strength of unity. Hogwarts school personifies loyalty, determination, courage and standing for one’s principles.

To all those who martyred for a good cause, not only that day but ever since Voldemort began conquering the wizarding world, you have not died in vain. You gave your life for the cause of the welfare of the wizarding as well as Muggle communities. You have contributed to this war. You have helped Voldemort script his own death. You have played your part well in a great cause. May your souls rest in peace.