हम इंतज़ार करते रहे

वो आएंगे, बस कुछ देर और
हम इंतज़ार करते रहे
जब इतना रुके तो अब थोड़ा और
हम इंतज़ार करते रहे

हम तो आगे ही खड़े थे ख़ुशी के मारे
कि अब जाकर हमारा वक़्त आया है
कतार लम्बी होती गई और हम पीछे छूट गए
कब कैसे क्यों कुछ पता भी नहीं चला

वो आएंगे तो फिर नहीं जायेंगे
हम उम्मीद करते रहे
इस बार यहीं ठहर जायेंगे
हम उम्मीद करते रहे

कहीं रास्ते में फंस गए होंगे
हम खुदको मनाते रहे
बस अब आते ही होंगे
हम खुदको मनाते रहे

जान मांगी होती तो शायद मिल भी जाती
हम उनके वक़्त की चाह में रह गए
आज फिर उनकी गलियों में हमने रात गुज़ारी
उनकी नामौजूदगी से वो बहुत कुछ कह गए


No Scolding

I have always had problems with scolding as a form of negative reinforcement. Contrary to popular belief that it is important to admonish if someone commits a mistake, I believe there are more patient ways to deal with an errant child, student, or any person.

Scolding does not deter people from repeating the same mistakes. It will only ensure that they will not let you know whenever it is repeated. There have to be discussions, maybe elaborate ones so that they understand where they went wrong and why they should not repeat it. Reprimanding might avoid the recurrence of the error, but it might be out of fear more than realization. It is a common tactic used by many people when it is difficult to console someone who is depressed. When initial consolation does not help much, they speak rather rudely or harshly so that the person is forced to become ‘alright’ again. I fail to understand what purpose does it serve, except instilling fear, dislike, and sometimes even hatred.

On a personal note, I thought of this today because someone I love a lot scolded me a lot yesterday. I do not doubt his intentions and I am aware that he has my best interests at heart. But words, like accidents, leave scars. A few days from now, that conversation will not matter anymore; but I will never be able to forget the harsh words he told me. I will think twice before letting him know when something happens because  I will be reminded of this day. I will prefer dying to hearing such hurtful things again.

I think of my father and how patiently he handles me. I trouble him the most, but not for once have I seen him lose his temper with me. He explains things to me over and over again, giving me hope when I least expect it. He has never scolded me for being sad. I feel so grateful to him for all his affection, love, and most importantly, patience.

Scolding is not the right thing to do, especially when someone is depressed. It does not help. Please do not take it up as a tactic or anything else. If someone seems inconsolable, please be a little more sensitive and try again. And if you have lost patience, give up. But don’t get mad at people for being upset, sad or depressed. Don’t be rude or harsh because people are more vulnerable during their worst days. Maybe they need some more time. Your words can harm as well as heal; please don’t do more harm than good.

Signing off with this pearl of wisdom from Dumbledore:

Image courtesy: https://www.hoopoequotes.com/media/k2/items/cache/d40050b6656c4e9dab8c6d82165358f4_XL.jpg

Secret love

No, you must not expect.
Inhale the beauty of his mind
while it rejuvenates your soul.
Fill yourself with the air of his love
and you shall be whole.

No, you must not demand.
Sip his intellectuality and perfection
while he showers you with his gifts of understanding and patience.
You shall be amazed with what you get without asking.

No, you must not complain.
Understand that your story is but a fairy tale
and it cannot be true except the love that you share.
He will give you all that he can-
his time, affection, support and care.

Yes, you must love.
Because it gives you joy, hope and strength.
Love him deeply, and rise in his love.
You were not meant to be together
but your souls were, nevertheless.


Unconditional love

She missed him so much it hurt. For her, he was hope, love, happiness and courage. She did not know how they were related and she wanted it to be the same way. It hardly mattered because she loved him and that was enough.

No, they were not dating each other. He was an important part of his life. Maybe he was her best friend, father figure, confidant or all of these. She trusted him. She liked being around him; he was her only shade in a sunny land. He hadn’t been around for ten days and she waited for him to return desperately.

She would often go to meet him. They would laugh and joke. He would know when she felt low. He always asked her to express her feelings. He would always listen. There was something magnetic about his personality- everyone would be dazzled by his aura. But he was different. He would never give in to flattery. He had a knack to know people for what they were. He also knew how much she liked him. He had his own indirect ways of expressing his affection.

Over time, she felt she had developed a special connection with him. Coincidentally, they would bump into each other at some random place. Those were the moments she wouldn’t know how to react. Once he asked her why she looked so happy. She innocently told him that it was because she met him so unexpectedly. He would smile and go ahead on his way. She would then recount the tale to her diary. She wanted nothing from him. As far as he smiled to her and met her frequently, she was the most contented person on the planet.

His opinions and ideas mattered a lot to her. He had made her quite strong and confident. He advised her because he was concerned about her. She too tried to make him proud. He rarely asked her for help; but when he did, she would do anything to help him out. At the end of the day, they knew they were like best friends who can always count upon each other. They teased and taunted each other but could also be serious when it was required. They understood each other well. She couldn’t be at peace when he looked worried, troubled or tired. They cared a lot for one another.

His replies to her texts made her happy. All she wanted was to see his smile once a day. She would feel incomplete on the days they would not meet. She would stalk his Facebook profile or stare at his pictures, in the hope that she’d see him again soon. She was young, at the threshold of her lovely days of youth. She often wrote to him despite knowing that he would never reply. He had a complex persona. She was a waterfall overflowing with love; he was a tap giving only as much water as needed, sometimes less but quenching thirst like no other. She was the sky; he was the full moon that alone mattered on a dark night.

She loved him for what he was and what he did to her- he taught her to survive when she felt there was no sign of life. When she was with him, she knew she needed nobody else. Perhaps she was crazy to waste her time behind someone who was more or less the same to everyone dear to him. At the moment, she didn’t bother. She was happy and the memories she shared with him, infinite.


He came like a breeze of cool air

you just close you eyes and it is there

He lit like the flame of a tiny candle

and slipped like sand, tough to handle..

He came, saw and conquered

along the streets of my heart he wandered

He posed like the impeccable mannequin

and stood by me like a fish’s fin..

He was too good to be true

he was too brute to stay

He was too special to be treasured

and so he ran away

He didn’t elope alone

he took my heart

He left a wound

that tore me apart

He is the rose with the deadliest thorn

i will hold no matter how much it pricks me

Maybe the one I loved is now

only an illusion I see


The surrender blunder

This post is a result of something that vexes me. A common occurrence these days, this is an issue so simple but unnecessarily complicated. Time and again, I’ve seen this happen; the worst thing is that I’ve always been unable to stop it from happening.

So let me present it to you in the form of a story: A and  B are friends. A feels infatuated towards B. He starts giving her gifts and asking her out for dates. B is overwhelmed; she enjoys his company. She accepts his gifts and feels special and loved. Both A and B are single. B feels sad because she does not have a boyfriend. Finally, one fine day, A musters the courage to propose her. B is shocked; she only considered him a friend. The friend-zoning cliché yet again. A is devastated and sad. He stops contacting her. B starts feeling guilty for having hurt him. She starts recollecting how special he made her feel and how he ‘loved’ her. Guilt pangs and solitude overpower her common sense and practicality. She contacts him again and accepts his proposal. She feels she will also eventually fall in love with him. He is happy and they get into a relationship. Happy ending, is it?

Most of you might wonder what exactly vexes me in this story. Not one, but many things do. Firstly, why does one have to feel guilty for rejecting a proposal? Is it imperative to reciprocate crushes and infatuations? Don’t things such as friendships and best friendships exist in the world? Do a girl and a boy have to eventually end up as a couple or nothing else? Is friendship extinct? Why should a girl simply accept a proposal because somebody likes her? Don’t her feelings really matter? Why should she suppress her feelings and surrender to a boy? Everybody is independent in taking decisions! Why should a girl fake love only to keep a boy happy?

Secondly, what is so wrong about being single? Is it a crime not to have a boyfriend to cling to all the time? So what if you are single? Why does one have to feel lonely or ashamed of singularity? How can a person’s status be determined on the basis of having a girlfriend or boyfriend? Aren’t we humans before anything else? If a person is a good human being, how does his/her relationship status alter our perception towards them? No engaged person is special and no single person is undesirable. It is a person’s actions that determine his/her status. Relationship or not, you as a person is what people around you see and will judge you based on that.

Thirdly, if a boy severs all bonds with a girl the moment she rejects his proposal, did he ever love her? When we love someone, we understand everything about them. If she doesn’t reciprocate the same feelings towards him; he should stop pestering her and continue the friendship as she wishes it to be. Why does he have to stretch it to extremes- relationship or nothing? Isn’t it heights of male chauvinism? Can’t the girl have a different opinion regarding that relationship? How dare a boy impose his feelings on her? Is she his property or slave? How can a boy be such a maniac that he tortures a girl by simply boycotting her?

How can a girl force herself to love someone? Are we so materialistic that just because someone gifts us, takes us out, spends money on us and wastes time behind us, we compel ourselves to fall for them? Why do you even accept obligations in the first place if you know you will later be crushed under their magnitude? Why can’t you politely but plainly refuse that you cannot accept any favours? Why is it so difficult to say one NO? One NO can avoid one thousand problems later. It is we girls ourselves who complicate lives and invite all the drama. Life hasn’t got less challenges that we need to add more.

Lastly, by consenting to a relationship only to pacify a boy for a while; isn’t she actually deceiving him? She must tell him the truth and ;eave it up to him whether to wait for her or move on. If she says she loves him even when she does not in reality; she is cheating upon him. Sooner or later, such relationships realize that they do not have a future. Years later when the boy comes to know that she never loved him, won’t he be hurt even more? It’s better to hurt him in the early stage itself so that he has time to recuperate. After years of deception, it may even become impossible for him to recover. Among now or later, it’s better to face it and finish it NOW itself.

Do we live in a brutal world today that has human beings sans humanity? Isn’t it all about having a boyfriend and nothing else? If you are engaged you’re cool; otherwise, I don’t know you.

Dear girls, don’t give in to any proposals till you don’t love the person. Don’t succumb to someone else’s feelings- it’s your life and YOU need to decide. Don’t let emotions overpower your sensibility. There’s so much work to do- don’t waste your time and tears for useless fellows. Don’t ruin your life and don’t waste your precious time! Live life on your own terms and conditions. Don’t create blunders by surrendering to random guys who claim to love you. Not until you love them back. It is your life and you choose who takes which place. You don’t hurt anyone by not feeling the same for them. You hurt and deceive them when you give them false hopes by showing them stars in the day. Be truthful and draw the line whenever needed. Don’t come under obligations. You don’t need a friend who gifts you- you need someone who understands you. Money can buy everything but good human beings. Choose friends with care and don’t succumb to any pressure a boy puts on you. Strive for your individuality.

“When you stand for yourself, the world will stand by you; when you plunge yourself in the labyrinth, not even God will come to save you.”

Choose well! Be strong and safe! Be YOU! 😀

Serious like Severus! Are you kidding?

He liked her even since their childhood. She was beautiful. They spent time together. He rescued her every time she was bullied by her sister. Some years later, they went to the same school. However, they were sorted into different houses. He never stopped liking her even then. She met another boy in her own house. They went along well. They fell in love with each other and grew up to get married. Meanwhile, he was heartbroken. He loved her as much as he did years ago. Some years later, she had a baby with her husband. He discovered that she, along with her husband and son were going to be killed. He approached the world’s greatest, most righteous and experienced person to protect her family. However, her fate was sealed. She was killed but her son escaped only with a scar. He rushed to her, hugged her corpse and cried. He never loved anybody else. Years later, he took up a job as a professor in the same school where they went. Her son joined school after a decade. He seemed to be quite a strict professor but he saved her son’s life on numerous occasions. He never let anyone harm her son. He protected him out of his love for her. He died seventeen years after she did. In his last moments, her son was with him. He told him that his eyes were just like his mother’s. He loved her till the end and always.

This is the story of Severus Snape and Lily Evans, from the amazing Harry Potter series penned by J. K. Rowling. We can’t really categorize it as a tragic love story; it is much beyond that. It is the story of staying when one has all the reasons to move on. It is the story of being loyal when one is not bound or expected to be. It is the story of loving beyond everything- beyond the fact that she would never reciprocate the feelings. It is about choosing between what is right and what is easy. (Prof. Dumbledore says that). He simply considered it right to stay loyal to his first love.

Comparing it in today’s context, we would tend to consider Severus insane and an emotional fool. Today is the age of moving on. People tend to remarry soon after the death of their spouse in order to overcome loneliness. People move on with another partner often to prove to their ex-partners that they can do without them. The present scenario is such that all relationships come with an expiry date.

Some people might argue that Severus is a fictional character. Reality is nowhere close to fiction. Okay, he is fictional. But the feelings that he had, they were real. Doesn’t each one of us tend to love somebody? Be in family, friends, a spouse or even a fictional character, for that matter? How many people do we see today who can love like he did? He had no reason, no motivation and absolutely no compulsion to go on loving her. Seventeen years after her death, he loved her as much as he did when he was a kid. Maybe more, owing to her absence, but nowhere less. Isn’t that a big lesson Professor Snape taught us, even more than his subjects ‘Potions’ and ‘Defence against the Dark Arts’?

I’d like to defend Lily Evans, though. She was nowhere at fault. She simply did not feel what Severus felt for her. She’d have been in fault only if she’d have given him any false assurances. She was always a friend to him. She loved James and thus married him. She nowhere cheated Severus. It was just that they were not meant to be.

Coming back, there’s a lot we can learn from Severus. In an age where affairs conclude with break-ups really soon, we ought to realize that love doesn’t diminish. Death, distance or rejection cannot be deterrents to true love. It is all about being loyal and loving without any reason why. We love our family, friends and life partners because we should. It shouldn’t have any backing of a cause- it is because it is. The power of love is strong enough to let one go on all alone. Loneliness can never kill anyone if he/she loved someone truly. It’s not about loving; it’s about loving truly. It’s about loving till the end without having any specific purpose. J. K. Rowling has impeccably conveyed this message throughout the story. So go out, tell your loved ones that you loved them, you do and you always will. Remember, if Severus could, we all can do it too. If you wish to love, love like he did. I admire Severus for his love and loyalty. Can we be like him? Think it over and tell me what you thought. I’m waiting.

Until the next post then. Keep calm and love like Severus! :*

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Short story- To be or not to be?

The party shall begin at nine p.m. She wasn’t excited at all. She had only agreed to go because he had forced her to. “All my friends are bringing their girls”, he said. “I want you there. Anyhow. Come on, baby! It’s just a matter of two hours.” “Okay”, she said and disconnected the call. She did not even hold on to respond to his thank you.

She was not a party person. Crowds made her feel lost. She hated how people only gossiped and ridiculed others at such parties. Discotheques, cocktails and hard drinks failed to intoxicate her. She’d rather be up till late reading a book or working upon something on her laptop. She had a self imposed ‘no parties’ rule and she never made an exception to that.

Should she go or not? Why was she going in the first place? Was it to accompany him? Or was it to ensure he could flaunt his beautiful girlfriend just like his friends did? Was it because she wanted to go? Not at all. Why should she go when she didn’t approve of the idea? Why should she wear that short dress he gifted her especially for this party? Why should she dress as per his likes and why should she go to a party because HE wants her to go with him? In an instant, she was sorted. She wouldn’t go.

She called him up. “Hello, honey! Are you ready? “, he asked in an enthusiastic tone. “I don’t want to go. You ultimately only have to flaunt, so whether it’s me or someone else, it doesn’t matter. Goodbye. Enjoy the party and the rest of your life too. It’s OVER.”, she blurted. She was on the verge of breaking down into tears. “I am sorry”, he replied after a pause of what seemed like ages. “I was wrong, but I truly love you. Please forgive me. Will you please give me a last chance? I won’t ever disappoint you. I want us to be together forever. I’ll never force you to do anything, I swear”. He seemed to be filled with remorse. She said nothing. She kept sobbing for a while.

“Okay”, she said. She forgave him. Things came back on track and he never disrespected her opinions again.

Relationships, at times, demand chances. Ending things is not the wisest thing to do always. Sometimes, chances can do wonders and save relationships. Life is all about tolerance. Sometimes, in exceptional cases, there’s no choice but to quit. But everyone deserves a chance, so forget and forgive! Life is too short for regret. 😉 😀