I want to recover

There are physical ailments and there are mental ailments. Physical ailments have their cures- doctors, better doctors, medicines, higher doses of medicines. But what about mental ailments? What about feeling low? What about feeling demotivated? What about feeling unloved or isolated? What about feeling the void inside you? What about the pain that cannot be shared with anybody? What about the longing for someone far away?

I want to get out of this. I want to breathe. Alas! I do not have a doctor. The only cure for these depressing feelings is love. Someone who is undergoing this ought to be treated a bit more carefully, a bit more adoringly. There must be someone for them who listens to them, who’ll make them talk, who’ll bring out the best in them. I enjoy writing but it has been a long time I’ve been able to blog or write. I can’t arrange my thoughts into anything meaningful. I can’t accept things as they are being bombarded onto me. I can’t accept solitude.

I can’t avoid, nor can I fight. There is a limit to tolerance and patience.  I feel low, I feel weird. Sometimes I cannot fathom what I feel at all. Often, I do nothing at all. Movies are distractions, but only temporary. They cannot make one forget the pain. There comes a point in life where philosophy does no good. The present seems lost, the past seems a mistake and the future seems only very intimidating. One loses the will to wake up every morning and fight. All I want is someone to constantly be there with me, which is not possible in a city where everyone is running towards an unknown destination.

I seek solace in God; I pray for peace. I don’t know if I’ve got better over the days, I’m trying.
These are the lowest and gloomiest days of my life and I don’t know where I’m going. I feel even the ones I have shall get fed up of me and abandon me.
I hope I am ushered out of this soon.




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